This memorial website was created in the memory of my precious son, Joshua Eberle-Martinson who was born in Arizona on July 17, 1999 and passed away on August 29, 2004 at the age of 5.  He is remembered and loved forever by all who had the privilege of having him touch their lives, and is especially and mostly missed by Mommy.
 
This is a place for friends and family to come anytime, to write notes or thoughts on special days or any day, or to light a candle.  It is a work in progress, and so far only a few pictures (of the thousands that I have!) are on here.  I am learning and trying to add as I am able. 

The following links are to the original obituary, Josh's one year memorial, and 2 year memorial.  There is a guest book linked to them that will be online forever and for always, and you are welcome to write in it anytime.

http://www.legacy.com/azcentral/LegacySubPage2.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=2670766

http://www.legacy.com/Images/Cobrands/AZCentral/Photos/PDF/0004081330-01_08282005.pdf         

http://www.legacy.com/Images/Cobrands/AZCentral/Photos/PDF/0005030358-01_08302006.pdf

March 2006
Well, I've managed to get a few more pictures on here!  I also let everyone know at Christmas that I would put information about the foundation and the other things that have been done to honor Josh here...It has been a very difficult year though, worse/harder at times than last year, and I have really struggled, so I have not found myself able to do much of anything.  Here, finally, is at least the foundation update:
 
The 'Joshua's Hope Foundation' was officially established just before New Year's, thanks to very generous donations from family and friends.  What a blessing it will be to others.  It has been established through the Arizona Community Foundation, and any donations can be made through them at the following address:   The Arizona Community Foundation 
                2201 E. Camelback Rd. Suite #202
                Phoenix, AZ 85016
with any checks made out to ACF/Joshua's Hope Foundation Fund.
Thank you so much to everyone else who has made donations since it's establishment.

As initially stated when the idea was first conceived and mentioned in Josh's memorial, the hope was to establish a permanent foundation in Josh's name for advocacy and protection of children.  To that end, the goal and mission of 'Joshua's Hope' is to provide funding to organizations that work to protect women and children from domestic violence, and that educate the public and professionals about domestic violence and it's effect on children.  I really want it to be a voice for children--To raise awareness in the community and among professionals about the issues of the effects of domestic violence on children and do something to help these children victims. 

This year we plan to grant funds to the following groups:
**a group called Justice for Children (http://www.jfcadvocacy.org), who advocate legally for children.  They have offices in Phoenix, Houston and Washington, DC, but serve people nationwide.
**Childhelp USA (http://www.childhelpusa.org) which is one of the oldest and largest national nonprofits dedicated to the prevention and treatment of child abuse.  They have a physical building here in Phoenix.  The grant will be specifically for counseling for children who have witnessed or been victims themselves of Domestic Violence
Others being considered include the following:
**Arizona Protective Parents Network (azppn.com) a group that has been successful in introducing and getting legislation passed that benefits children
**a group called Peer Solutions (http://PeerSolutions.org) specifically to their program called Stand and Serve, which is a group of highschool kids that present skits and information to other highschool kids that educate about domestic violence in dating.  The earlier the intervention can occur, the better.  Once children are involved and family courts and police become involved it becomes extremely difficult to find protection and help. 

There are many others that I am deciding between, and I am researching for organizations that educate professionals (teachers, counselors, court personnel, attorneys, judges, police) about domestic violence and the effects on children and dangers for children.  But I am pretty sure about the above.

Like I have shared with many of you, each time I start thinking about this, I have so many things I would like to be able to do, it is difficult to narrow it down.  But I always come to the conclusion that the first and foremost priority for Josh--his hope (i.e. "Joshua's Hope")-- would be to help another child to not have to experience what he experienced---to fight for children and the importance of listening to them.  They have to have a voice and that voice has to matter, it has to be heard and taken seriously.  I am looking into the best ways to be able to do that, and am starting with the above.

A separate website for the foundation has not yet been developed, but that is a goal.  I will try to continue to provide updates - after the grants have been officially made, when there is a website, and when we are able to do more.

In the meantime, some months and dates to remember are
April -  Child Abuse Awareness Month
April - 22nd this year but different dates each year--The Walk to End Domestic
         Violence, which I participated in last year and hope to have a team, Team
         Joshua, this year (thanks to everyone who sponsored me last year, I  
         raised the second highest amount of any individual walker!)
October - Domestic Violence Awareness Month
September 25 - National Parents of Murdered Children's (POMC) Day of
          Remembrance
The second Sunday in December every year - National Children's Memorial Day and Worldwide Candlelighting for Children.     
                                 
July 2006
This has been a very hard month, on an unbelievably hard road.  I am thankful for my 'Compassionate Friends' that I have met along the way, who understand the best because they too have lost their heart and soul--a child--some of them, unbelievably, more than one...And for my friends who don't understand through experience, but let me grieve without trying to tell me how it should be done...
I am also grateful that I had the opportunity to attend the national conference of the Compassionate Friends again this year with my mom and brothers, and also had the chance to see one of my sisters and Josh's cousins in Michigan as part of that trip.  Josh and I had last seen them in late June of 2004, together...
I saw some friends I met at last year's conference who are also travelling this road, and met some new ones.  It was just this month (through July 16) and gave me strength to get through a few more days.  
One of the toughest, Josh's 7th birthday, was the 17th...I had a toy drive that was hosted by one of Josh's favorite play places.  They offered to donate a party room, everyone's admission and a huge cake...and they thanked me afterward and offered to host another event anytime.  It was hugely appreciated, it is not a cheap place to play!  And the turnout of friends and love for Josh was overwhelming.  The toys are being given to a local domestic violence shelter, and Childhelp USA.  Both are thrilled to receive the donations.  Childhelp gives a toy to each child that comes to the center, and sometimes that is the only thing the children have to call their own.  The event made a difficult day a little easier to bear.  It was a celebration of Josh's life and favorite things and the many many toys brought by friends will bring a little joy to some other children.
Grants from Joshua's Hope were made to Justice for Children, Child Help, and Peer Solutions in honor of Josh's birthday as well.

Thanks too, for the support for the Walk to End Domestic Violence in April.  I, we, raised $2300!!!  My goal was $300...I was overwhelmed by the response and support.  I was one of the top fundraisers.  Others had large single donations from corparations or groups, so I am especially proud that my money was raised simply by the large number of people that donated, and also that donations came from people all over the country and even Canada...!  It went to help many domestic violence shelters and programs.  My site for the walk is still available at the following address: http://wedv.convio.net/site/TR?fr_id=1040&pg=entry
Click on my name on the right of the screen.  There are additional links to some articles on that site.

In May, Justice for Children dedicated their annual fundraiser, which was a jazz concert this year, to Josh.  I was very moved when they contacted me to see if it would be okay to do so.  This was before they knew I had considered them as a source for a grant from Joshua's Hope.  I had shared our story and met the regional director in March at a meeting held by an Arizona State Representative who is interested in issues involving children, domestic violence, and the family court, and her request to honor Josh came as a result of that meeting.  There was a beautiful dedication in the program.

I have gotten just a few more pictures posted--some from Josh's last birthday party, an Egyptian party at Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza, and some others.
This was not a great month, next month will be tough too...

December 2006
It turned into several tough months... 

Thanks to everyone who lit candles for Josh last Sunday, National Children's Memorial Day and Worldwide Candlelighting...It was really awesome to hear and see from so many people remembering Joshie...There was even one lit for him in Cambodia--truly worldwide!

At our Compassionate Friends meeting this month we were talking about ways to memorialize our children, and as I started sharing and talking about everything that has been done for Josh, I was really thankful and proud.  I had written earlier about wanting to share some of those things here, so I thought I would do that now: 
*There is a bench for him at the Phoenix Zoo, where he loved to go, and a stone for him in Harmony Farms, the children's area there
*A donation was made in his honor to the Florida Baptist Children's Home 
*A donation was made in his honor to the Humane Society, where Tiger picked Josh out in 2002--I was not aware that they have a program that temporarily houses pets for people trying to leave domestic violence situations...a need many don't consider but that is very real.  A victim's pets can often (and did) become a target of abuse, a way to hurt the victim indirectly (similar to, but not as extreme as hurting the children) 
*A tree was planted outside his Preschool classroom at the Awakening Seed School where he attended until June 2004
*A bench and reading corner with a basket full of his favorite books is in his Kindergarten classroom at Mirada Elementary.   The bench was used during his class's year end play so he could be a part of it, and was used in last year's play too
*A fruit bat was adopted in his honor this past Halloween! He loved the story Stellaluna, about a fruit bat, and loved loved loved Halloween.
*There is a fish scale on a memorial fish wall--that lights up when you type in his name--at the new Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, Georgia
*There is a memorial plaque for him at the Angel of Hope Statue here in Phoenix
*In September 2004 I changed my license plate to the Child Abuse license plate that Arizona offers, it has handprints around it and says "It Shouldn't Hurt to Be a Child" --and my plate is now 'Joshua5'  Proceeds from the special tag fee go to aid child abuse organizations.  A good friend also purchased the child abuse tag for her car in Josh's honor

Next, I put a few more pictures on the site over the last several months, I really do have thousands!
We had memberships at Sears Portrait Studio, JCPenney Portrait Studio, and the Portrait People, and took advantage of coupons at Kiddie Kandids....Josh loved getting his picture taken! As a matter of fact, we had been to the Portrait People in early August for late 5 year pictures, and not gotten a great one with the number 5, so we were still trying to do that. We went on Thursday, August 26th for pictures at Sears. The photographer took about 16 shots instead of the 6 they are supposed to (!), which of course made it that much more difficult to choose, and it turned into about a 2 and a half hour process.  Josh was sooo good and patient...When we finally finished we were walking to the food court to get him his favorite--pizza, and we passed the Portrait People--He asked excitedly if he could go in and have his pictures taken there too?!...I promised him we would go there soon, we had one more session to be used within a month, and the pictures with the '5' still weren't the best...we were going to try once more.
He never got to... 

But that is why we have so many professional portraits on top of all of the snapshots I took...We had free sittings with our memberships and often received great coupons for packages and/or portrait sheets, which of course always turned into not such a great deal by the time I "had" to buy all of his precious pictures because they were all so cute! But I couldn't resist. And like I said, Josh loved to get his picture taken and often asked if we could go...
I was made fun of for the number of portraits and the number of rolls of film I took, but I am so thankful that I have them. Videos too... 

One session in particular stands out at the Portrait People, they are some of my favorite pictures...The photographer was a young man with hair as big as I have ever seen it...He was a white boy with his hair teased out into a frizzy afro that seemed to stick out about 6 inches from his head, it could have been a wig, but wasn't! Josh thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen...The young man was also very funny and outgoing, and got a kick out of Josh laughing at his hair. So Josh's smiles are true from the gut laughing smiles...He kept talking about that hair for awhile after!
I will note them on the site but they are him sitting on a white bench in a cowboy hat, white t-shirt, jean shorts, with a green background, and him popping out of a pumpkin...They are so cute 

Thank you so much to everyone, friends and family, who contributed to Joshua's Hope over the last year.  We came close to doubling the amount that we started with, and next year I will be able to give larger grants or else give to more organizations--there is, unfortunately, a great need.  Recipients have been so grateful and appreciative and have written some really nice tributes (below).  My hope is that the grants have helped in some way to allow Josh's hope to be realized...and will  continue to do so.

That's all for now...though there's a lot more I could write.  I cannot believe another Christmas and holiday season is here and he is not. It is still surreal at times, all of the time, really... 

Thanks to everyone for your continued love, support and prayers, they are appreciated and still very much needed, especially as trial is supposed to take place this coming year...

April 2007
I have added pictures but no other updates in quite awhile, been having some difficult days.  I do want to add a quick note about this year's Domestic Violence Walk though: it is this month, on Saturday April 28th, in the evening.
My site for the walk is:

http://www.active.com/donate/enddomesticviolence/joshsmommy

Also, trial will not take place this month as it was set to...A new date has yet to be given, but we are still hoping it will be this year...

July 2007
Josh's Birthday month, he would have been 8 on July 17th.  Makutu's Island once again helped me to host a toy drive in Josh's memory and honor and it was, I think, even more successful than last year!  More adults (big kids) playing and sliding, and more kids in attendance, and even more toys to donate.  It was really great...really, really fun for everyone.  A couple of Makutu's staff members remembered last year's party and even though they weren't working came by just to bring a toy and be a part of this year's celebration.  I know Josh would have been so excited about his party!!!  And was excited about it, he was there I'm sure...laughing at me flying out of the banana slide and landing on my back!

The Walk to End Domestic Violence in April was even more successful as well, Team Joshua was the 5th highest fundraising team, with only a few members, and I-because of you- raised the most money of any individual in the Walk...Thank you all SO MUCH...!!!  The funds from the Walk go to Domestic Violence Shelters and the programs they offer.  Then for Josh's Birthday, grants from Joshua's Hope go to programs that help educate about and hopefully prevent domestic violence, and to people and programs that help children in abuse or domestic violence situations, for such things as counseling and legal representation.  And the toys donated for Josh's birthday are given to kids who may have left home with nothing, or had nothing to begin with. 
So I feel like different needs are met by each event, by Joshua's Hope, and by each donation that is made in Josh's honor.   Thank you again for making them possible.

I just returned (last night at midnight!) from the National Conference for the Compassionate Friends, where I again met so many wonderful people missing their precious angels as well--and Josh made many people laugh and smile with his pictures and stories about him that I got to share...!  It was really heart healing to be surrounded for a weekend by people who know and really get it.  I am so fortunate to have been able to attend the conferences the last 3 years, in Boston, in Dearborn Michigan, and this year in Oklahoma City.  The people I have met there are the most courageous, kind, loving, amazing people that I have ever met.  I am also glad that my brothers and Mom have been able to attend each year as well, we all get a lot out of them.  This year we were able to go to the Museum honoring the victims of the Oklahoma City bombing, it was incredibly moving--intense and emotional in an already intense and emotional weekend, but a beautiful tribute.  If anyone is ever in Oklahoma City it is worth the trip.  

Regarding trial, I have been advised that it will not happen this year, and likely not even the beginning of next year.  The next hearings are scheduled for August 10 and October 19th.

Finally, I have decided to add links to this site about what trial is about, as I get many inquiries from people visiting this site about what happened.   
I have left them off until now, because I didn't want anything ugly, any reminder of why this website exists, on here--I wanted to protect Josh from it.  But like I said I have had many inquiries from passers by that have come across the site, and I decided that to make a bigger difference the story should be available. These links were on my Walk to End Domestic Violence webpage, to which there is a link above, but I am ready to put them on here as well: 

An article that ran in October of 2004: 

http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/article_3cdfe06f-f206-5418-87af-a4dc3f598249.html

Certainly not everything is accurate nor is it close to all-inclusive of everything that happened,  but it gives a good idea...

An article in October of 2005 during Domestic Violence Awareness month:
http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/article_8797197c-1054-5f49-97aa-b69f5be3b4d0.html

Our "story" has been referred to in several other newspaper and magazine articles regarding domestic violence and failures of the court system, but they are not all available online.  It is my hope that each article reaches someone though...

Thank you to everyone for loving Josh and for supporting me through the continuing ups and downs of missing him and trying to keep going...

And as always, thank you for visiting... and welcome to our new friends!

July 2008

Another birthday is here...Josh would be 9 today.  Really tough to accept, probably the hardest time of each year.  A lot has happened in a year and I can't believe I haven't been on here to update. Unfortunately trial has not happened, nor is a real date even set...but in spite of that there has been some good.

July 2009

Another year?!  Not sure how that happens, time flies but stands still.  Josh's birthday, 10th birthday, is this Friday, July 17th.  I can't believe 5 years have passed since losing him, and that I only had him for 5.  Really difficult to comprehend.  That new sense of time thing for grieving parents...

So no trial yet....it is set for October of this year, but I was told will likely not really happen until February or March of next year, 2010.  That will be over 5 years of court dragging on.  One of, if not the, longest running cases, in Maricopa County.  As a result of that I have been a part of some stories relating to delays in the justice system, and the effects on families and victims.  Hopefully helping to raise awareness that will lead to some changes in that very difficult issue.

I have continued to take part in support groups, the Compassionate Friends, and Parents of Murdered Children (POMC) for which I am a board member, and have had the opportunity to attend national conferences each year for both groups.  I always meet amazing and incredible people and find the conferences to be really helpful and healing experiences.  In two years our chapter of POMC will host a conference and I will be able to be a part of helping others, especially those new on this road, something I am really looking forward to.

I have had toy drives and memorial birthday parties for Josh each year on his birthday, and taken the toys to local domestic violence shelters and children's homes, and have made donations from Joshua's Hope (his foundation) each year in August-in memory of losing him-to different agencies and groups that support children's rights and raise awareness about domestic violence.  I have also continued to take part each year in the Walk end Domestic Violence and have been one of the top fundraisers each year.  This year's walk was moved from April to November, so if anyone is wondering why they didn't hear from me in April, that is why.  Expect to hear in November!  Last year I also had a fundraising event for Joshua's Hope with the Phoenix Roadrunners (echl hockey team), and hope to do another such event again in the future...

I have also had the amazing opportunity to become involved with a Christian Music Promoter, Extreme Faith Productions, and be involved in every aspect of putting on concerts here in Arizona, as well as in California, Nevada, New Mexico, and Colorado.  I have gotten to meet some amazing artists and have been blessed by them and their music, while helping to bring their music to others.   Before that though, I had opportunities to meet a lot of artists, and share Josh's story and how certain songs had helped me during the last several years.  As a result of one of those meetings, when I was thanking a band called Building 429 for their song 'Carried Me'  the lead singer was inspired to write another song, called 'Always' that was a part of their most recent album.  It was released to radio a couple of months ago, and is the central song of their current show during concerts....So Josh's life is touching others through what he loved so much, music.  And that is an amazing tribute.  And after I was unable to even listen to music, especially Christian music, for over a year after losing him...he had loved every song on klove and was constantly singing from the back seat, declaring every on as his favorite...There is much more to this story, it is absolutely amazing all that has happened, and anyone who wants more detail can send me a message through this site, and include your e-mail so I can write back :)

5 seems to be a significant number for me....before and since losing Josh.  Josh was 5 and in year 5 without him a lot of things have happened...and I have finally felt ready to make some changes.   I am hoping trial does not set me back all the way to where I was for the first several years...maybe the reason it has taken so long to take place is so that I could gain strength and increase my network of friends and family support even more.  I am so thankful for everyone I have met and gotten to know, and all of my friends who have been with me through the years...Thank you for your support of me and love of Josh.

April 2010

Unbelievably, it is 2010....April 2010, 9 months from my last update. It has actually been a really difficult 9 months overall.  This year, these last few months in particular, have felt like the first year without Josh, I am missing him as strongly and intensely as the first months in 2004.  I am thankful for my groups The Compassionate Friends, and Parents of Murdered Children, whose doors are always open, and who understand more than anyone else can what this journey is like.  I did have to testify, for 7 hours, in August 2009 (after my last update), on events that happened leading up to losing Josh, all 5 years of incidents, and it took me back to those days and moments.  I had nightmares for several weeks, re-living it.  I don't think I have been quite the same since...I also learned in October, after another change in defense attorneys,  that trial would not take place until May...of next year.  May 2011.  And that is harder than I expected...the waiting.  I am trying all I can think of to keep going....but have really been struggling.

This year I am continuing my involvement with Parents of Murdered children, and have started helping facilitate the the east side meeting, have gone back to monthly meetings of The Compassionate Friends, took part in Crime Victims Rights events this month (April is Child Abuse Awareness Month and the week of April 18-24th was National Crime Victims' Rights Week), attended this year's Domestic Violence Symposium hosted by the Purple Ribbon Council (I had last attended one right after losing Josh, in October of 2004), am continuing to try to raise awareness of these events through social media networks, am continuing my involvement with Extreme Faith Productions, a christian music promoter, walked in last November's walk to end domestic violence, and will walk again this November....Gave grants from Joshua's Hope to Childhelp, Defender's of Children and Peer Solutions... 

One thing I did which was an experience of a lifetime, was to go to Egypt.  Josh LOVED Egypt, was fascinated by it and knew everything about it....at 4 years old he could talk about heiroglyphs, the process of mummification, anubis, osiris and all the Egyptian Gods and Goddesses, King Tut and his tomb, sarcophogus, shabtis, pyramids, pharoahs, cartouches, the crook and flail...He loved King Tut in particular, and Akhenatun, and queen nefertiti...We checked out about every book from libraries in Chandler, Pheonix and Tempe, not the kids books, the adult encyclopedia type books, on Egypt, mummies, pharoahs, obelisks, pyramids, and his favorite King Tut.  And he could see a picture in one book and reference it to another.  He wanted to copy his favorite pictures from the books and take them to his friends when we would visit.   And his 5th and last birthday party was an Egypt theme... I made a pyramid cake, and as it wasn't exactly straight, he exclaimed, "mommy it's the bent pyramid of dashur!"  When we played in the morning, he wanted me to be queen nefertiti, no matter what we were playing...What 4, turning 5-year old has that knowledge and vocabulary, can retain that information, is interested in something like Egypt?!! It was amazing.  It was a dream that one day we would see the pyramids and all the things we had looked at in the books.  So in October when I learned of the latest delay in trial, I decided I was going to go, I didn't want to be here for the holidays without Josh again, so planned my trip over Christmas.  It was amazing, surreal, emotional.  I rode camels by the pyramids on Christmas day, went inside a pyramid, and Josh's backpack went everywhere with me.  I went inside King Tut's tomb, and dropped one of Josh's crystals that he always carried in either his backpack or pocket, inside king tut's tomb...it was hard to let it go, but pretty cool that it's there.   I saw king tut's treasures from his tomb, including all the jewelry josh loved, and the famous Golden mask, which Josh wore a plastic replica of at his birthday party.  I saw the Sphinx or 'spinks' as Josh called it, the collosal statues, the step pyramid, and obelisks, went on a boat in the Nile...even went in the royal mummy room at the Cairo Museum--I do not care for mummies, but Josh loved them, so I did it!  King Tut's mummy was in his tomb in the valley of the kings, rameses and some others Josh knew about were in the museum.  It was amazing to see it all, for Josh and for myself. 

And I feel like perhaps after all this time, I have finally maybe recently talked to some people at the right time, in the right place, who might be able to help me effect some changes on behalf of domestic violence victims....Maybe that's what this year is supposed to be about....

So to new friends and visitors, and old....thank you for your support and for loving Josh and me....and please keep praying as I am really really struggling this year in anticipation of next year's trial, and just missing Josh. 

Thank you...

August 2011

It has been quite awhile since I have updated this site, other than to change pictures and light candles.  I have instead done most of my updating directly to friends, through other, more private means.

But it is now the eve of trial, finally the day to begin seeking Justice for Josh.  After 7 years... August 29th, 2011, will be 7 years from the day of waiting for him to be returned to me, only to find out he was gone.

The last year has been full of support from friends and family, being able to find joy, once again, in many of the things Josh and I both loved  - music, sports, travel, family - to have some amazing new experiences and meet wonderful people.

His party and toy drive this year, on July 17th, was a lot of fun, and many kids will benefit from the toys donated in his memory.  We had it at the 'dollar theater' again (now the $3 theater!), and movies, popcorn and favors were enjoyed by all.

There has not been a Walk to End Domestic Violence since 2009, but that is something I hope to help work on to try to make happen for next year.

But tomorrow, August 8, 2011, we begin the process - potentially 3 months- of seeking justice for Joshie.  It will be difficult and stressful, as the last 7 years and reliving the events leading up to losing him have been during every court hearing we have had, but worth whatever it takes to see justice for him.  Prayers would be appreciated!

I remain so thankful for the support of friends and family, friends that were mine and Josh's and all the wonderful people I have met who didn't get to meet him, but love him just the same.  I am blessed for the opportunities I have had over the last year, but most of all thankful and blessed to have had Josh for 5 years, to be his mommy for always and forever.

Thank you....again

November 2011

On Thursday November 3rd, after almost 3 months of grueling testimony, more difficult than I could ever have imagined, closing arguments were delivered and the jury was given the case to begin deliberating. 

On Monday, November 14th at 11:20am, after 11 days of anxious and difficult waiting, I was advised that the jury had reached a verdict.  At 12:30pm the verdict was delivered:  Josh's dad, Jeff Martinson was found guilty of child abuse and felony murder...

An absolute answer to prayer in the face of what appeared to be impossible odds...So much was kept from the jury--testimony, evidence, truth-- praise God that in the little they were allowed to hear and see, and in spite of the lies, twisting of truth, and omission of truth on behalf of the defense team and defendant, they were able to see the real truth...and deliver, finally, after 7+ years of waiting, justice for Josh....

Again, praise God !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I truly believe that it was only by His grace and mercy and power and justice that the truth was able to be discerned by the jurors...

I have had amazing support in the courtroom, family and friends, every single day ... and support from so many other friends here, around the country, and in other countries, in the form of prayer and messages of encouragement.  It has been overwhelming and a huge part of what has helped me make it through this so far...People who knew and loved Josh, and love him still, and people who only got to know him through me, and love him.  

I was the first witness called when trial began in August and I testified over 5 days, and then was called back for one day of testimony in October as the first witness in the state's rebuttal case.  So many friends showed up in court for those days, it was incredible. And the day the verdict was read so many important people were able to make it to the courtroom in time to hear it -- Josh's first friends, friends that had known us since he was 2 months old, his Sunday school teachers, our best friends -- It was incredible and was a huge blessing that had to have been orchestrated by God... <3

Trial is not over yet, there are still 2 more phases, an aggravation phase and a penalty phase.  And it is likely the trial will not end until mid-December, possibly even after Christmas.  But I am so thankful for where we are now, and that the hugest hurdle has been crossed, earthly justice has been delivered for my Josh...

Thanks again to everyone who has visited, lit candles, sent messages, gotten to know Josh through this site.  I cannot thank you enough for support, prayers, and encouragement, and for loving me and Joshie.  You are all such blessings in the midst of this tragedy and along this difficult path....THANK YOU!   xoxoxoxo    <3